Nurse Enthusiasts Pillows

'I don't know if I'll ever be perky again.'

"It was better before God took up knitting."

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'I'm knitting a scarf for my son.'

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

Mary Margaret, the best bar nun.

NHS Efficiency Drive

'Let me though! - I'm a Doctor.'

Orthopedics. Pediatrics. Stuff they never taught your in nursing school.

'Four years of medical school and three years of residency, and you come bothering me with the sniffles?'

"Don't just stand there gawping women! Give me a hand with my monthly salary!"

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."

'She's seen a man wandering round in his underpants!'

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

Some people have their own methods of dealing with a shortage of nurses

"Whose turn is it to be the patient?"

'It'll be a disaster...you've no experience in Forward-facing reorganisation target setting prioritisation strategic planning.'

"Welcome to Mom's place. I'll be your waitress, dishwasher, and cook tonight..."

Sheep Knitting.

Give it to me straight, Doc — what's the bottom line?

Florence Nightingale

"I'd like to request a transfer from the children's ward."

MPIG: 'There that's better...'

The treatment is the same on the NHS...

"I'm thinking of signing up for the postcode lottery."

The Bowling Family

Medical insurance reminder

'Your father's decided to pause in his programme of reform.'

DOH to encourage PCTs to set up walk-in centres.