Nude Art Explorer T-Shirts

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

"Beats me why but my girlfriend says I have a one-track mind."

In the art gallery

Jackson Pollock's brief career with the highway department

"Ah yes… this is Mr Shipley, our new head of strategically placed objects."

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

'It's all very well you saying I should paint something else, but what?'

'Oh I'm keeping abreast of it.'

'I don't see how you can breathe through that thing - it's so small!'

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

Turtle nude painting.

'This book's useless - it just tells me to loosen her clothing...'

'No luggage.'

Artist and the artist's model both thinking of the money.

'I hope there isn't art as we know it on other planets.'

" Actually, Dear, I said I wanted to start eating 'all natural, not 'au naturel'!"

"I think what I like most is they haven't got any clothes on."

Nude painting

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

"I've been posing for half an hour. Shouldn't you be painting by now?"

Success often means distracting the competition.

"Let's go in here. Word has it that his cave drawings are nothing but nudes."

Portrait of an admiral spying on the nude portrait next to his.

Naked Man and His Trusty Sidekick Black Bar Boy.

'Believe it or not, but he used to be a gag cartoonist!'

'How's it coming along Monsieur Lautrec?'

Drawing.

'Did you know your fly was open?'

'Naturism is not a religion, Perkins, nor can this rightly be termed 'dress'.'

'Why can't you collect stamps like everybody else'

'Not in front of the neighbours, Dear!'

"I'd better read the official view before I form an opinion."