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"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Squeezing the Free Press.

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

First Novels.

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

Gay Times...

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Birds of the Pacific Northwest: Belted Kingfisher

Sue the Author 3PM

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

Letters escape from a caged book.

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

Man Reading Laptop.

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,