Pr T-Shirts

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

"Damn it, Turner, you were supposed to orchestrate public opinion."

"I sent my resume to 9 PR firms. If any of them call back, tell them I'm magically cleaning my clothes at a breakthrough laundromat where the who's-who of Oak Street meet and greet."

"I've just ran over the cat - call Charles Saatchi."

"Go forth and get me a PR consultant."

"I'm not sure cuteness counts as a core competency? but hey if it gets hits, you're on."

Envioronmental Re-Framing Company

"I'm in marketing. My motto is it's all in the packaging."

'How fast can you hype?'

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

"National security adviser"

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

Target your customer.

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"I go that extra mile!"

Information...political rhetoric

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

"Commandments aren't really selling these days. However, we're willing to consider self-help tips or personal improvement ideas."

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

"Your press kit said you were lots of fun."

'How fast can you hype?'

UBLIC RELATIONS IN CASE OF EMERGENCY BREAK GLASS

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

'Get me public relations!'

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

"I hear you've got quite a reputation with the girls around the office."

'Get me some shares in public opinion.'

'When you do the article, is there any way that you can squeeze the factory into the picture?'

"Remember, Mort: Courage isn't the absence of fear. Courage is remaining media-savvy in the face of fear!"