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"You're suffering from defective media image. What you need is a spin doctor."

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

"I think you'd make a persuasive salesman."

"National security adviser"

'Branding is essential if you're to survive in the Jungle of modern law...'

Man chasing microphone.

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

Target your customer.

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

Information...political rhetoric

"I go that extra mile!"

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

"Your press kit said you were lots of fun."

'How fast can you hype?'

'Get me public relations!'

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

'Get me some shares in public opinion.'

"I hear you've got quite a reputation with the girls around the office."

'When you do the article, is there any way that you can squeeze the factory into the picture?'

"The success of the guillotine helped it's inventor get ahead...let me rephrase that..."

"Remember, Mort: Courage isn't the absence of fear. Courage is remaining media-savvy in the face of fear!"