Novice Chef Gifts

A man is trying to use a barbecue. He is reading a magazine about how to BBQ.

"I'm making Thanksgiving dinner this year. Do you have Turkey Helper?"

"That's what dad always wears when he cooks for us!"

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

Too much cilantro

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

'Why do I need to clean the fish? -- Didn't you just take them out of the WATER?'

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

"Your meal sounded nice."

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

The Inexperienced Cook

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

Cat Cooking Bird.

Boys Cooking

'You want to see a list of ingredients? -- Are you trying to make trouble?'

Boy baking a cake.

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

The simultaneous development of dining and pomposity.

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

'Step 5. Call the Fire Department.'

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'I thought too many cooks spoiled the broth.'

'I hope it's okay -- the cookbook had some really confusing abbreviations.'

"I want you to be well in life, son...."

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

French bread