Novelty Seat Seeker Pillows

"It's comfortable but I feel vulnerable,"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Raincloud Umbrella

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'What clan do you belong to?'

Crap from the future.

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Useless add-ons.

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

Mohammad's motors

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.

Goldie Locks and the three beers.

Toenail clipping missile.

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

BOOKS ON VIDEO/BOOKS ON TAPE/READ YOUR OWN.

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

Clock and Watch Shop: Second-Hand Clocks and Minute-Hand Clocks.

Scrooge is visited by the ghost of prehistoric past.

You are now leaving Everything..."Well, now I've seen everything."

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"