Novelty Hobbyist Pillows

'My psychiatrist told me to take up a hobby, so I became a psychiatrist.'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"Is this the first time you've been fishing?"

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

'Well, at least it has bubbles.'

'Now what?!'

'Cool!! Your Dad lets you take accordian lessons??!!'

'It even tells time in metric minutes.'

'The valentine card I gave you talks, plays music and flashes lights! Who cares about the message???'

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

Silver Sufferer - husband looking at steam trains on the internet, wife bored in background

'Mr. Barnes has been riding his motorcycle, so he's a little behind on his paperwork. If you'll take a seat, he should be with you in a few hours.'

Casual skydiving.

'I did say we were going to give you transport...I didn't say what sort!'

Thinks Bob: At last, the most practical house pet since the goldfish.

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

Man Watches Live Feed of his Aquarium on Television

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

Person Reading For Pleasure

"Yep, that's it - seven pages, I only write what I know."

'Turkey dot com.'

'Yes dear, matching novelty t-shirts.'

'Could I borrow your giant scissors for a minute? I cancelled payment on this giant check and I need to cut it up.'

Surprise

Recombinant DNA

"This is where DIY projects go to die."

'Welcome stockholders of 'Worldwide Novelty Products'.'

Once the other reindeer had LED noses fitted, they went back to making fun of poor Rudolph again.

"Are. You. Ready. To. Weeeeave?"

"Fifty bucks and I'll tow it to the nearest novelty shop."

Drinking Bird and Fishbowl

Beggar with a sign that reads 'Need a rare 1905 Buffalo nickel to complete my collection- thanks!'