Novelty Event Goer Gifts

Three Legged Race

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'What clan do you belong to?'

Crap from the future.

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Useless add-ons.

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

All dressed up and no place to go

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

Mohammad's motors

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

It's great for pulling the birds!

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

BOOKS ON VIDEO/BOOKS ON TAPE/READ YOUR OWN.

Micro-Brewed Brain Beer

Clock and Watch Shop: Second-Hand Clocks and Minute-Hand Clocks.

Scrooge is visited by the ghost of prehistoric past.

Toenail clipping missile.

Goldie Locks and the three beers.

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"