Novelty Drink Sellers Gifts

"Let's face it, if we were getting any customers they'd have been here by now."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

Baloneystini

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

Micro-Brewed Brain Beer

"That's very offensive."

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'Beer? Wassat then?'

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

Marxist Elephant

"Baldo, the summer is almost gone and you still haven't found a job!"

"Herbert, don't! This is a gourmet coffee shop! You order instant de-caf and there's going to be trouble!"

"Okay, we got one cherry lager, with bitters and a pineapple slice, and one honey malt ale with cinnamon and an orange weist. You want these in steins or parfait glasses?"

Hold The Pickles

'I think we've done it, Igor. This will be the hot new sports drink of the summer!'

Piano-Tuning Bar

"Could I have a skinny, half fat caramel infued Americano with a double shot and froth. . . but without the coffee!"

Can you make a pink squirrel? Make a pink squirrel do what, exactly?

Global Warming.

Football Drinks

Trendy new La Croix flavors

'Film extras drinks night'

"Hit us with another couple of Banana Daiquiris, Lew. . It's a jungle out there!"

'Not bad -- now let's try it with a twist of lime.'

"Just water for me I'm the designated driver."

TASTES LIKE... Bob's Buffalo Chicken

We're diversifying. Behold: chicken eggnog!

'This wine is made from fermented raisins by convicts in the state penitentiary...'

"It's a coffee for when you'd rather be drinking tea."

'So, why do you like global warming?' 'I sell cold drinks.'