Novelty Communicator Pillows

"I'm well aware that your e-mail isn't working. I got your first message."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Dog Walking Services

'Cannonball!'

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

Advocado

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

Hay Rides $10

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

Direct Marketing...

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

"I'm fascinated by body language."

"Mom, come quick. Dad's in a stupor."

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism. (Published originally on Feb. 11, 2011.)

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

Target your message

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

Wordplay: Export.

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

Elton John

'Modern romance'

"I speak Latin, you know."

LOL. Larry Lee Oppenheimer is no fan of monogrammed underwear.

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

Ball Pool Peril

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."