Novel Narrator T-Shirts

Nick Offerman

"I sort of imagined with a live reading, he'd be reading out loud."

"It was a dark and stormy night...."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

Thomas Mann.

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

The DaVinci Code

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Reading my Critics

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Television Readers.

Honoré de Balzac

Jean-Paul Sartre

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

Silence of the Chickens...

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

John Bunyan

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"