Novel-hunter Gifts

Librarian Watches As Woman Climbs The Bookshelves

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Thomas Mann.

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Victor Hugo

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Television Readers.

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Silence of the Chickens...

Raincloud Umbrella

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

'What clan do you belong to?'

Characters jumping out of a book.

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

Crap from the future.

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Useless add-ons.

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

Iris Murdoch

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'