Novel Chiselers Gifts

'You know it takes time to write a novel.'

"The raw material was all around me: That's how I got started as a sculptor..."

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

The Sculptor

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

Sculptor's chippings

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

"You've not used a chainsaw before have you?"

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

It's Oog's latest invention — the 'thumb-hitter.'

'Stop gritting your teeth!'

Boy: 'DAD, the lawnmower's started SMOKING again!'

"Okay, I finished my novel. Now what?"

Drat. Your bolts are metric,but my tools aren't.

'Remember, I deduct one grade point for every splinter.'

DIY store with a first aid department

Sculpting

Sculptor with falling rocks sign.

A man carves a totem pole

Caution Falling Rocks

Rodin's Block

You'll never get anywhere as a sculptor, Ernie, until you learn to let the chips fall where they may.

'I know it's the thought that counts - what were you thinking?'

Sculptor: 'Okay, SMILE!'

'Which end do the nails come out of?'

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

The First Tattoo

Dude, it's cool that you rebel by wearing a nose-ring, but if I were to do that, I would look just like my dad...

'Ideas that never got off the drawing board.'

Sculptor - "Try not to blink."

Many hardware stores now provide sketch artists to help their customers recall the part they need.

'How may I hurt you?'

'I hate Mondays!'