Novel Champion Pillows

"By God, this year on my vacation I'm going to read a book!"

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

Not much money, glory, or praise

"I think I gained weight because of the heavy reading Mr. Klacken assigns us."

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

Another entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Pixel sprain - any physical injury incurred from intense video game play.

I am the cute blue bear

"You were right, honey, she was tired... I only had to read six books to her tonight!"

You really gorge yourself on sports. THEY score and YOU take a victory lap through the kitchen.!

'Do you take credit for things that others have done?'

"Tonight the covers stay on my side."

'I want to thank all my obstacles for making this possible.'

Rex grits his teeth, puts on his big boy pantaloons and gears up for the day ahead.

I used to only get writer's block, but it has morphed into copyright block too.

'I'm doing a 'Win a Date with a Computer Geek' contest on my website.'

'First I'll do some covers, then I'll play some derivative, cliche-ridden original material.'

"Get back in there!"

'The games console has saved us a fortune in holidays. We told him we were seeing the pyramids but we were actually in Skegness. He didn't notice.'

'All the good ideas have already been stolen.'

'Why don't you put that little black belt thingy to good use, and karate chop me a couple of shelves for the hall closet!'

'We've won a free trip to the mountains.'

Died After A Brave Battle With Everything

'If only texting was an Olympic sport.'

'Me? Actually I'm a writer. . . Well, er, at the moment it's mainly job applications.'