Notepad Collector T-Shirts

'I got free from 'save the spotted owl' preservation foundation.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

The paperless office sign covered in post-it notes

Musical Web

Bearded Leftie.

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

While you were out... the whole office talked about you.

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

'Try his land line.'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

'We suspect death by Sunday supplement.'

"What's that smell?" "A paper cut."

"Please feel free to browse."

"I wonder what this was for."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"I'm just making a few behavioral notes in my journal, then I'll chase him."

Horace Greeley's Storm Battered Coat and Hat

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"He's our back-up if our computers fail."

'How old is this vase?'

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

"Your aunt wants to know what we're doing these days, so I'm sending her a picture of our fridge."

"Oh I don't work here, I just love filling out forms."

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

Bear Office Worker

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

"Those are all my passwords."