Keyboard Collector T-Shirts

'The tech department said your new keyboard should be in sometime today.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

A woman playing a keyboard

"My dad says this pencil was once used by William Shakespeare." "Is it 2B or not 2B?"

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"The children took off their own coats this morning, Pastor."

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"Keep practicing, and someday you'll be able to play the two songs you remember at houses that also have pianos."

The Escape Key

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"I'm just making a few behavioral notes in my journal, then I'll chase him."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"Now now, what have I told you about using your zombie knife at the dinner table..."

"I wonder what this was for."

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

"He's our back-up if our computers fail."

"Please feel free to browse."

'How old is this vase?'

'Is this what you're looking for?'

'I've discovered that the rings around Saturn are composed of lost keys, socks and grocery lists.'

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'