Note Nerd Gifts

'Guys, could we try a different inversion?...Guys?'

"So typical. Hurry up and wait."

Piano Tuners. You broke a wire. That'll cost you a c-note!

My other cello is a Stradivari

Bass scale

my boyfriend's a music producer...

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

The Age of Reptiles. . .

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

WiFi Signals

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

Piano Keyboard

Gloat

Pregnant Panda at Edinburgh Zoo: 'Congratulations, Wilkinshaw...'

"I'm afraid you need knee surgery."

The real reason why flamingos are pink

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

"Yaffle Pass Elevation 11,990 ft Continental Divide"

'If only Darwin could have seen this.'

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

'I would love to be more energetic, but there is nothing I can do: It's a genetic condition...'

"Yo, this should be a two."

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."