Nostril Enthusiast T-Shirts

'You're trying to yawn without opening your mouth. I saw your nostril twitch.'

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

"WHich one is mine?"

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

The Philip Marlow family

"I want to make it before I hit thirty."

Local food for local consumption

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"Trust me. Don't do it."

Snail Racing

Slug Bait- snails love it

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

Snail Pattern Balding.

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

Ewww

"It was Saturday night. The clock on my office wall showed the time to be eleven-forty-five. There are times when a private eye does not necessarily feel like being a private eye. This was one of those times. The elevator door down the hall clanked open with a clank familiar to anyone on the fourth floor who had had an office on the fourth floor for as long as I had had an office on the fourth floor. Footsteps came down the darkened hall and stopped outside my door. They were the footsteps of a

"Wheeeeeeeeeee!"

"Last week, the orioles were passing out Baltimore catechisms. This week, it's the cardinals doing baptisms."

"It's badly sprained, McElroy, and you know as well as I do that I'd only slow you down. Go on without me—and that's a direct order!"

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

Congratulations! When are you due?

"You're right, I can totally see my lung."

Snail Coach

"In your own time, Brian, in your own time."

'Ever notice how when Dad snores the whole house shakes?'

'I'm sorry, but just don't think I can handle a long distance relationship right now.'

Snail trap

Repossessions

"He's at that awkward age."

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

Bat