Nobility Enthusiast T-Shirts

"It's badly sprained, McElroy, and you know as well as I do that I'd only slow you down. Go on without me—and that's a direct order!"

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

'No kidding? -- I'm a Habsburg on my mother's side myself!'

'Denson, I want this view moving so that we can see it from the West wing.'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

'Yeah, but would you want to have a beer with him.'

Royal Picnic

"You're taking this majestic falconry business too far, Rudolph."

The Mortons: It's all about our money.

Gallery Guide

'I used to have serfs, but I've found that free-range peasants are more efficient.'

The Great Catsby.

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

"Reduce my ears? No, I want to make my nose bigger!"

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

"Her Ladyship wanted the portrait to have a more contemporary look."

'The problem with being a Chihuahua is that everybody calls me 'Pepe'... My name is actually Humphrey Reginald Windsor the Third...'

Plastic Surgeon Kid

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

"It's the price we pay for living an alternative lifestyle."

'Of course, times have changed. The Earl and Countess now live in that folly!'

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."

"I find it difficult to like him. He's too good at being humble."

" ...and this is the armor of my ancestor, 'Cederick the Unintimidating.'"

Baron de Munchausen

Countess

The Epsom Derby - An Earl Throwing Sticks at Cocunuts

'I'd love to be in Who's Who.'

"Regift the bicycle, Charles, but put this in my Panama pile."

'He's at a family reunion down in the dungeon.'

Plastic surgeon's here.

Puck Building Shoot-out