Nostalgic Theater Enthusiast Gifts

"I like Al Gore just fine – if only he weren't such a constant reminder that, for me, vaudeville is dead."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Just be yourself."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Benedict Cumberbatch

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

Women's Bonnets Block the Audience View

'Hamlet'

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

"Out damn Spot

"When I grow up, I want to become president and eventually the subject of a groundbreaking, critically-acclaimed Broadway musical."

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

Before the Internet

Taking a peek at the audience

Mikado

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"It's a play on words."

"Toi Toi Toi!"

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'Bring out yer books!'

"Bravo!"