Nostalgic Ruralist Pillows

"What I miss most is the mooing."

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

"I always knew you'd come back."

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

Twitter that!

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'I should've never sold my truck when I moved to the city.'

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

Life is simpler in the sticks.

I've been doing sit-ups!

"Ugh, I need to hide - he has a strict policy about workplace dating."

My parents had a mutual love of grass.

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

Shepherd

"Well, well, looks like we got ourselves a coupla city types here, and a couple more city types right behind 'em, and a whole mess o' city types transferrin' to the Queens-bound F train."

The pen is mightier than the sward.

'Are you paying in cash, check, credit card or livestockfarm produce?'

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

Junior's switch to electronic chewing tobacco was short-lived.

Rural Cityscape

Brown cow

...and I see the catering is sorted.

Sheep

The cattle grid, the bane of cow and supermodel alike!

His burro injured, Scotty hauls ass for the nearest town.

'That's the sign of a good painting!'

'I'm off to the city for some peace and quiet.'

'Now that we've got a new bull, is he the calf's stepfather?'

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

You have reached your destination... Shat Nav

"We must be in the Village."