Nostalgic Motorist Gifts

'Orville keeps bragging about restoring that car. He fails to tell people it took him 70 years.'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

Before the Internet

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'Bring out yer books!'

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

'Jerry's 'old school'.'

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

"I can remember when having a '212' phone number still meant something in this world."

Fun (circa 1955)

'New Game'

The Paper Route

"When I was a puppy, I barked as a puppy, I understood as a puppy, I thought as a puppy. But when I became a dog, I put away puppy things except for my shabby, old, beat-up stuffy toy. I still freaking love this thing."

'Thirty years from now, this will seem terribly quaint and awash in charming period detail.'

Three kids in a trench coat, twenty years later.

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

Before pagers,mobile phones and the internet.

"I'm thinking of getting the old band back together."