Nostalgia Junkie Gifts

'I used to be on the cutting edge, always pushing the envelope. Now I stuff them.'

Old rocker.

ABBA

Before the Internet

"New York is dead, man."

Memorable Jam Sessions: the night Charlie Parker asked Spike Jones to sit in on Ah-Ooogah horn."

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? I was a ladies man back in the '70s and '80s. But now the woman I partied with all see it differently. What I want to know is

Colonial Larrysburg.

"Do I use Google Maps driving or walking directions?"

"Just like I thought. Ten gallon hat and a flip phone."

Remember when fallout was something that happened to your hair?

'Look! I've found Great Uncle Chin! We've not spoken in 40 years.'

'You should know better than to switch channels during a Garfield special.'

"Type, 'I will not interrupt the teacher' 100 times on your computer!"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Louis Armstrong

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

Cocktails on the verandah.

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

The Missing Sock Returns

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"Honey! Where are my lucky Incredible Hulk board meeting socks?!?"