Nosey Parker Gifts

Andrew's own nose cuts him off just to spite his face.

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"I don't care what you thought you saw,l there are no such things as people"

Dolphins playing on a seesaw.

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

The successful rubbernecker...

'Scientists at the Human Genome Project have located a gene that makes us want to constantly look for our name on search engines.'

"Don't mind me. I'm just nosy."

God is dead.

'No wonder I never have time to do anything else. I'm a one woman news team.'

"When I grow up I want to be a journalist. I love sneaking around and reading journals."

You are here...

"Once again, the answer is no."

Eavesdrop date

'I told you I could squeeze into this space!'

'Honestly, if you're looking in Loch Ness you're way off!'

'Let's be frank. Perky isn't right for you.'

Climate Change Has Pushed Me Out Of The Media

Neighbourhood watch with mother

"Puff! Pant! They don't have to do this in the Premier League!"

"I just saw a hipster age perceptibly."

Pollsters.

Fish with Scuba Gear

Bill struggled for years trying to make a name for himself in the city.

'Lots of people never had hurricanes named after them.'

"Remember, we still have to complain about these beautiful sixty degree days when it turns seventy."

"O.K., I'll talk."

He likes to pretend to look at the stars when he was really looking in the neighbors' window.

'The cheek of it! There's a guy in that appartment with a telescope looking at us!'

The Devil playing a prank on a homeless person.

For Your Dog

"Where is Marie Kondo when you need her?"

Audubon Guide To Neighbors

'We are unable to complete your call as dialed. Please remove your mittens and dial your call again.'

'Let me through - I'm extremely nosy.'