Nosey Parker Gifts

Andrew's own nose cuts him off just to spite his face.

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"I don't care what you thought you saw,l there are no such things as people"

Dolphins playing on a seesaw.

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

The successful rubbernecker...

'Scientists at the Human Genome Project have located a gene that makes us want to constantly look for our name on search engines.'

"Don't mind me. I'm just nosy."

God is dead.

"When I grow up I want to be a journalist. I love sneaking around and reading journals."

'No wonder I never have time to do anything else. I'm a one woman news team.'

You are here...

"I just saw a hipster age perceptibly."

"Once again, the answer is no."

"Puff! Pant! They don't have to do this in the Premier League!"

Eavesdrop date

Neighbourhood watch with mother

'I told you I could squeeze into this space!'

'Honestly, if you're looking in Loch Ness you're way off!'

Climate Change Has Pushed Me Out Of The Media

'Let's be frank. Perky isn't right for you.'

Pollsters.

Fish with Scuba Gear

"Remember, we still have to complain about these beautiful sixty degree days when it turns seventy."

For Your Dog

The Devil playing a prank on a homeless person.

'The cheek of it! There's a guy in that appartment with a telescope looking at us!'

'Lots of people never had hurricanes named after them.'

Bill struggled for years trying to make a name for himself in the city.

"O.K., I'll talk."

He likes to pretend to look at the stars when he was really looking in the neighbors' window.

Audubon Guide To Neighbors

'We are unable to complete your call as dialed. Please remove your mittens and dial your call again.'

'Let me through - I'm extremely nosy.'

"I come to these get-togethers to see who's coming apart."