Nonverbal Communication Aficionado Gifts

Body language consultant

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"Could I ask just one question?"

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

"I'm fascinated by body language."

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

'We finally learned to communicate, and he's worse than I thought he was!

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

Complaints departement for men and women.

"OK Hunter. Go join the 'non-verbal criticism skills' seminar!"

Attention Span Man

'When you approach a customer, don't have your hands in your pockets.'

"When you put it like that, it makes complete sense."

Big Talk/Small Talk.

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

'What do you mean I've wolfed that down? You've never stopped nattering!'

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

"Dad, here's that update on my childhood you requested."

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"

'A late payment and a friendly reminder cross paths in the mail.'

"I worry about every little thing. Barry's more of a generalist."

'The cow mooed, the pig oinked, the chicken clucked, I baaed and then we adjourned.'

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'

Man sleeps instead of reading 'The Art of Listening.'

The speech is ethical. One source is plagiarism, two is research.

Messrs Wink, Nod and Nudge write book on unspoken communication.

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

'The problem is, you say no problem.'

"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"