Nonfiction Pillows

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

Library. Frank, I need to locate some biographies. Do you know where these are? This King Tut book is stored in a box down in the basement. The Napoleon biography is with the short stories. And the Henry Ford book is in the autobiography section. Unfortunately, this Amelia Earhart profile is missing. It mysteriously disappeared years ago. And what about the Albert Einstein bio? It's right up there, on the top shelf. The book about Einstein and his theories is way over your head, Ernie!

"This is my favorite area. Every one here has been the subject of a hagiography."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

The DaVinci Code

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

Victor Hugo

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Reading my Critics

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Television Readers.

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

Jean-Paul Sartre

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Honoré de Balzac

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Gen-Next Library

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

John Bunyan

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Party Twenty Three

Characters jumping out of a book.

"So the white whale was really just a metaphor for your mother's lack of affection?"

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

'Listen up, Baskerville! This is MacDonald! Those hounds of yours are scaring the E-I-E-I-O out of my animals!'

George Orwell