Nonchalant Strategist Gifts

"And to that I say: hakuna matata."

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

'Bad news, sir -- there's a leak in our think tank!'

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

Corporate Ethics Department, how may I help you?

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

'I knew this was a bad place to work when I saw that they call the company handbook 'the Owner's Manual.''

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

'Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!'

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

"Phizby, your can't do attitude has really cut down on screw-ups around here. Keep up the good work!"

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

'Oh, I HATE IT when he does that thing with his mouth...TALKING!'

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

'I don't do 'Goodbyes' ...'

"The figures for the last quarter are in. We made significant gains in the fifteen-to-twenty-six-year-old age group, but we lost our immortal souls."

'No, Bob, I haven't noticed you haven't spoken to me in 3 days... I just thought we were getting along.'

'It's a silent protest.'

"I guess the point I'm trying to make is, calling the committee on Progress and Evolution a bunch of know-it-all nincompoops might have felt good when you said it, but..."