Non Sequitur Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Why, yes. . . Bert did work as a mortgage broker before opening this place. . . How'd you guess?'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

Günter Grass

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

The polar olympics

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"And Jasper, dear Jasper, with his soulful eyes and great sagging jowl, would be stretched upon the floor, his tail a-thump when he heard his master's footsteps." Penny loved Daphne Du Maurier's 'Rebecca'.

'This history paper is about an event that happened a long time ago, but in the great scheme of things isn't all that important, making this report very short. The end.'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - The Creatures from Jabberwocky.

"I'd just like to congratulate you on how skillfully you've hidden my novel!"

"I wonder what odds you would have got for that happening?"

"Just sign it 'To the Lucky High Bidder.'"

'The students in my contemporary literature class are quoting from deejay Baby Puff Dragon. I have no idea what they're talking about.'

'This is my friend Kate, a publisher of non-fiction, and that's her husband, non-Kate.'

'I like reading romance novels: They always leave me with a warm feeling inside...'

"Okay, so I got rid of the owl.."

Before the wall, there was the great velvet rope of China.

Scientific Research: '...The motto of science is to expect the unexpected...now be quiet. I'm trying to work.'

Listen, just because he's moving from "fiction" to "literature" doesn't mean he's better than us.

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack -- Career Duck

'I read your resume. It's good, but I prefer reading non fiction.'

"Yep, that's it - seven pages, I only write what I know."

"Mmm... our situation reminds me of an Edward Lear poem..."

Through the Looking Glass-King's Messenger in Prison

Boy looking inside a book.

The Museum of Swine Art.

'What a horrid little pussy you are, you are. What a horrid little pussy you are!'

"And, if you don't have an attorney, we have millions of them."

Little Things

Margaret Atwood

"We should have copies of all the latest manifestos Sir. Try the horror, fantasy and science fiction section."

"So, let's start with your need to refer to your 'Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder' as 'C.D.O.' just so that it is in Alphabetical order."

'My policy is to stay in close contact with my employees . . . figuratively speaking.'