Non-controversial Conversations Mugs

"And you know why I'm his best friend? We never discuss politics or religion."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

Very Difficult Conversations

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"How about a hand."

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

"...and those are my deepest, most intimate feelings about our friendship."

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

Dialogue

"My world is Tribeca, lars, and yours is a different world."

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"Of course, that's just my opinion. If you want my professional opinion it will cost you."

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'The trouble with Nigel is that he's so changeable. One minute I love him and the next minute I loathe him.'

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

A lesson in wit

"I'm on Twitter and I get the feeling I'm not being followed."

"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

"Oh, that reminds me of this article I barely remember."

"This is Miss Jones, Doctor - I want you to cheer her up. She's been through hell recently."

"I find it a very good conversation starter."

'Sorry, what was that?'

'Last night Gary put me in an impossible position.'

"Stock photo, right?"

'And what do you do for a living Gary?' 'I'm a Puppeteer.'