Noir Fiction Fan Gifts

'That isn't true Mrs. Jones, I can find my ass with both hands. And if you want me to prove it, it'll be $150.00 a day, plus expenses.'

"We need rain."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

hard-boiled egg...

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

The Philip Marlow family

"It was Saturday night. The clock on my office wall showed the time to be eleven-forty-five. There are times when a private eye does not necessarily feel like being a private eye. This was one of those times. The elevator door down the hall clanked open with a clank familiar to anyone on the fourth floor who had had an office on the fourth floor for as long as I had had an office on the fourth floor. Footsteps came down the darkened hall and stopped outside my door. They were the footsteps of a

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

Elusive Shadow.

"Damn it—I told them I was too well known for undercover work!"

'Business was slow, slower than a fat tortoise with a limp. The phone hadn't rung for so long I thought it must be out of order. The new competition was good, very good. Who was this 'Google' guy?'

Robert Mitchum

Gangster's To-Do List

Phantom of Casablanca

Uneasy Rider

Diary of a DNA Cop

Al Pacino

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

Noir kitty.

"Now, see here, I've been wronged! Some no-good do-nothing rat pack got me sick, and I gotta know who!"

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

"See you there at seven. And the dress code is business noir."

"I have a few questions, Miss Haspel, about your fitness to serve as the director of the C.I.A."

"It's a dame!"

"I'll take it."

"Someday a real rain will come and wash all the scum off the street. But today, expect occasional sprinkles."

Jim and Betty Noir could turn a simple trip to the post office into gripping melodrama.

"Damn it, Flopsy, you've cost me another bust."

"So. . . you're binge-watching Scandinavian noir to cheer yourself up?"

Humphrey Bogart.

The shadow

"Gee—it's just like in the movies!"

A holster of heavies