Noir Novel Reader Gifts

Mob Misfortune Cookies 'There's a gun pointed at your right now' 'You will take one for the team soon.' 'Leave the gun, take the eggroll.'

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

The Philip Marlow family

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

"We need rain."

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

"It was Saturday night. The clock on my office wall showed the time to be eleven-forty-five. There are times when a private eye does not necessarily feel like being a private eye. This was one of those times. The elevator door down the hall clanked open with a clank familiar to anyone on the fourth floor who had had an office on the fourth floor for as long as I had had an office on the fourth floor. Footsteps came down the darkened hall and stopped outside my door. They were the footsteps of a

Mystery of the Poets

Mad Hatter's tea party.

Mr. Stryver at Tellson's Bank

"Damn it—I told them I was too well known for undercover work!"

'Business was slow, slower than a fat tortoise with a limp. The phone hadn't rung for so long I thought it must be out of order. The new competition was good, very good. Who was this 'Google' guy?'

Robert Mitchum

Diary of a DNA Cop

"Phew! - You've got bat breath."

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

A new meaning in the Roman

'That isn't true Mrs. Jones, I can find my ass with both hands. And if you want me to prove it, it'll be $150.00 a day, plus expenses.'

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

'I represent the Lilliput High School basketball team.'

"Now, see here, I've been wronged! Some no-good do-nothing rat pack got me sick, and I gotta know who!"

Trilby - 'Hast thou found me, o mine enemy?'

"See you there at seven. And the dress code is business noir."

"The butler did it!"

Boss, I have a question to ask you, but I'm pretty sure I already know what your answer is going to be. Ask away, minion. Can I have a day off each week to catch up on all the "Star Wars" novels and comic books that tie into the upcoming movie? Of course, Rudy. Who am I to stand in the way of your education in the proper role of a boss and his employee? Wait ... Are you talking about the Emperor and Darth Vader? Excellent training manual, if you ignore the lame social justice warrior parts.

'This looks like the work of a surreal killer.'

"Damn it, Flopsy, you've cost me another bust."

It was official. She was desperate.

The ghost's walk

My aunt astonishes me

Dashiell Hammett

Gustave Flaubert

SnowmanBig City

The shadow