Noah's Narratives Pillows

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

'Never mind that. I think I've just discovered a new planet!'

Zoom Christmas

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

'Two pencils approach Noah's ark.'

Two by two.

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

Moses conducts the Red Sea orchestra.

Noah's ark is a Hummer.

"I'm not a fan of biblical movies."

"Looks like we weren't the only ones to follow the North Star."

The advent of profanity: Noah to 3 monkeys: 'Only pairs are allowed on my ark, so one of you has to go!'

"Your script has no character development, Noah. Your protagonist needs to develop. He needs some sort of an arc."

Two Wise Men & One Wise Guy

Virgin Mary reads card: 'SORRY! The Angel Gabriel called to bring you glad tidings of great joy, but you were out.'

'No, Joseph didn't make the crib, it was a flat pack!'

'Sorry we're late, we lost three days following one of those Chinese lanterns.'

As the three wise men approach the stable, they see shepherds smoking in huddle outside

"Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I saw a heavenly host of angels?"

Made in China

Why are direction signs always so bad?

'I'm writing a sequel to my autobiography.'

'Looking back after living 900 years, my biggest regret is taking early retirement.'

"Instead, let me be your investment advisor and get you eleven-per-cent return, year in and year out, regardless of market conditions."

You are here

'Bet you can't eat just one!'

'Did you include the receipts for easy return?'