Noah's Narratives Mugs

Zeb's Exterminators. Let me get this straight -- You want me to get rid of all but two of the termites?

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'Never mind that. I think I've just discovered a new planet!'

Zoom Christmas

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

'Two pencils approach Noah's ark.'

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

Two by two.

Do not open 'til Christmas...

Noah's ark is a Hummer.

Moses conducts the Red Sea orchestra.

Two Wise Men & One Wise Guy

Some other sins you may enjoy.

"Looks like we weren't the only ones to follow the North Star."

"Your script has no character development, Noah. Your protagonist needs to develop. He needs some sort of an arc."

The advent of profanity: Noah to 3 monkeys: 'Only pairs are allowed on my ark, so one of you has to go!'

"I'm not a fan of biblical movies."

Virgin Mary reads card: 'SORRY! The Angel Gabriel called to bring you glad tidings of great joy, but you were out.'

'No, Joseph didn't make the crib, it was a flat pack!'

'Sorry we're late, we lost three days following one of those Chinese lanterns.'

'I'm writing a sequel to my autobiography.'

"Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I saw a heavenly host of angels?"

David and Goliath and bra-sling

Made in China

As the three wise men approach the stable, they see shepherds smoking in huddle outside

'Looking back after living 900 years, my biggest regret is taking early retirement.'

Why are direction signs always so bad?

"Instead, let me be your investment advisor and get you eleven-per-cent return, year in and year out, regardless of market conditions."

You are here

'Bet you can't eat just one!'