Ninja Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

Ninja Porn

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

Jungle Games

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"Tarzan no want computer."

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

"I only see the tech guru and the financial wizard. No sign of the systems ninja."

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

tiger strangling snakes

Leopards do change their spots

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

"Building a ninja-attracting business culture is easy. Keeping them focused on equity-based financial analysis? Not so easy."

Ninja.

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'

Reality Bites

Law of the Jungle: Tarzan the Litigation Man.

'Don't worry, it's safe to come between us: He's not my kid...'

'She wasn't a soccer mom after all -- she was a NINJA mom!'

...Sheep worrying had taken on a whole new meaning on Joe's farm!

'We don't eat just anyone, ya know. You should feel honored.'

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

'I'd love to help you guys, but I've got it pretty good here. I protect them and they throw me their sick and occasionally the odd jerk they want rid of.'

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

Rain forest: 'You are here - tomorrow you will be here'

Jungle Olympics

"It's the Queen of the Jungle. She wants you to pick up some wildebeest on the way home."