Ninja Enthusiasts Mugs

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

Ninja Porn

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

Jungle Games

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

"Tarzan no want computer."

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"I only see the tech guru and the financial wizard. No sign of the systems ninja."

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

tiger strangling snakes

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

"Building a ninja-attracting business culture is easy. Keeping them focused on equity-based financial analysis? Not so easy."

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

Leopards do change their spots

Ninja.

'We don't eat just anyone, ya know. You should feel honored.'

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'

'Don't worry, it's safe to come between us: He's not my kid...'

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."

'She wasn't a soccer mom after all -- she was a NINJA mom!'

Law of the Jungle: Tarzan the Litigation Man.

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

Reality Bites

'I'd love to help you guys, but I've got it pretty good here. I protect them and they throw me their sick and occasionally the odd jerk they want rid of.'

...Sheep worrying had taken on a whole new meaning on Joe's farm!

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

Rain forest: 'You are here - tomorrow you will be here'