Nighttime Philosophers Mugs

"That's another thing about being nocturnal – nothing's open."

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

'It's great that you can laugh at yourself, but can you not do it in the middle of the night?'

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

"The overthinker"

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

"Well did he?"

"Think about the honey."

Night-shift entrance

Using Frank Drake's famous equation, Betty calculates the probability of finding intelligent life on a Saturday night.

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

'Mummy, can you please pull the curtain and make it dark please? I'm scared of the light...'

"Goodnight, Dan, you handsome devil!"

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

"Honey, wake up. I had that dream again where I wake up and you get angry at me for waking you up."

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"Someday, son, a giant conglomerate will find a way to harness the moonlight and make us pay for it."

"I also have trouble sleeping. I don't understand why. No one I talk to seems to have any trouble falling asleep."

"You could always make me laugh but you didn't."

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

What are you doing up, mom? Big meeting tomorrow. Must be prepared. It's one a.m.! Go to bed, young lady. You need your sleep. It must be late. I heard my voice coming out of your mouth. Scary!

Expired, expired, expired, expired, expired, expired.

Tomorrow's another day, he thought, unless I get lucky and sleep right through it.

Thoughts of Stephen Harper...

That's a street lamp, Steve.

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

'I know these safety meetings tend to run very late, however... '

'I don't know what's wrong with you, you seem to have celibacy on the brain!'

"Wake up, baby. I just realized how my insomnia is all your fault."

"So this sense of failure stems from the fact that you're not catching any worms despite getting up early?"

"Must you bring your work to bed?"

"See, Timmy? No boogeymen under your bed — they're all out there."

Siggy

'I waste Sunday worrying about Monday, so I compensate by making Friday my Saturday.'