Nightmare Explorer Gifts

Your fingers' worst nightmares

Monster Squashed Under the Bed of an Obese Man.

'Dad still getting the nightmare where the guy orders the Puligny-Montrachet with the guacamole?'

'You see? There are no Wall Street millionaires under your bed.'

Office Dilemma

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

Dead Funny

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

Barcode Dreams

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

'Tommy is in the other room playing with the triangle we bought him in Bermuda.'

'Look! There's a Zyzzkzkk!'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

Bird Bath.

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

"Look on the GPS to see if there's any wormholes through time and space."

'Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!'

"I thought I'd come back YOUNG!"

A dream of consequence

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

"I'm not saying a horrible creature lives under your bed."

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)

You will awake to discover a dream come true.

'Good night darling...sweet nightmares.'

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

"I've made contact with your mother. She says she hates what you're wearing."

'There's been a change in my recurring nightmare. I'm no longer falling . . . my credit rating is.'

"Spirit! Are you a chatbot?"

'I'm bored with the Sisyphus channel. Switch to the Tantalus channel.'

Doom & Gloom