Night Owl Ponderers T-Shirts

Past mistakes insomnia

Dog Nightmares

Late BroomStick

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

"Try thinking about something else."

"Just one more site!" "I'm totally, like, in control!" "I can quit anytime I feel like it..."

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

Night-shift entrance

Day two of our series: America's sleeping pill addiction. My guest, pillhead Rudy Park. I'm not a pillhead. Come clean. Admit the obvious truth. What truth? Rush Limbaugh made you do it! A political pundit never misses an opportunity. You got hooked only after O'Reilly harassed you.

'Yes, I'm nocturnal, or you could say, a certified daydreamer...'

'Insomniacs anonymous.'

"It's the kind of trade you get in a twenty-four-hour-a-day joint."

'... I couldn't remember if I had switched off the light!'

"They say this will keep us up all night like that's a bad thing."

Things always look worse at 3 'clock in the morning.

Whom.

'Come on, you heard the rooster: It means it's bedtime for you!'

Mouse shopping after hours

'What makes you think that he doesn't want you?'

'I don't want this romantic day to end either, Darla, but I keep worrying I might miss tonight's midnight buffet!'

C'mon! Let's go! Hey, you knew I was a nightcrawler when you married me.

Harbor Hotel: 'Absolutely NO swashbuckling after 10 PM'.

The Raven - The Study at Night

"I'll tell you the same thing everybody's telling Donald Trump - stop your damn tweeting!"

'Damn early birds.'

Cats. All they do is eat and sleep. Truth is, they don't even do that well.

"Is the light bothering you?"

The Reclusive Flying Hell Rat

"Oh, you can't sleep either?!"

Turn on the news. I will not comply. My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story. There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on Rocky Road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills. Who told you this? Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy.

"Of course you can't sleep – I told you not to watch squirrel videos right before bed."

Cleaner in a museum getting scared by the exhibits.

"I don't even know when late night begins anymore."