Nickname Giver Pillows

'Thirty,love...My lovey!'

'That's 'Buddha,' not 'Bubba'!'

Grace For Flies

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

celebrating a birth.

Say it with flowers

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

What should we do this fine Sunday? I have an idea. Let's spend the day staring at each other and using pet names. Ahem. You affection is making us ill! They're upset, Monkey Bear. You're so handsome. We're trying to eat!

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

'Good morning pumpkin.' 'Good morning treasure.' A pile of treasure saying 'good morning' to a pumpkin

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

Love.

Birthday Racing Car

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"I get the strange feeling this has happened before."

Valentines Balloons

'I had to give a short speech last night. It was a hoot!'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

'And that,and that,and that...'

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

'I'm retiring, to spend more time with my family of mutual find investments,'

'Aha! You can tell Dottie and the kids I didn't forget their presents!'

New life (organ donation)