Newsstands Gifts

'Sleaze, please.'

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

'STREWTH! Our firewall is down!' (Rupert and James Murdoch cease to be shielded after Rebekah Brooks resigns)

'Read ALL about IT! In other less TRASHIER Newspapers!'

'Let him yell. I've brought him his Wall Street Journal every day for 6 years and hasn't given me one tip yet.'

"Get a move on Hardwicke, we need it for the 6 o'clock news!"

'So, what are the terms of use?'

What's that, Lance? It's called a newspaper. It's like a Kindle, but instead of your fingers leaving smudges, they get smudged.

Weekend paper with an index to the supplements it contains.

"Papers late again, Murphy?"

"You know our 'Never-Overwhelm-The-Reader' policy. Your story is irrelevant, trivial and stupid but not irrelevant, trivial and stupid enough."

News - Panto stars to strike.

'In the event of a new Gulf War, Letterman and Leno agreed to reduce their arsenal of middle eastern jokes and stockpile them for possible use later...'

Maybe the kids shouldn't watch the evening news.

'And this is Paul, who writes our 'Voice of Sanity' column.'

'We interrupt this Congressional scandal to bring you the following White House scandal....'

"Coming soon. Possibly a thrift store or a bakery...or, no—how about a coffee house? Yoga studio? Pizza joint?..."

'We'll need a bigger studio- Rosie wants to interview Rush Limbaugh.'

World exclusive!

'Big Issue!'

Magazines.

"But I actually wanted something specific...!"

News crews fight for coverage

The Gutter Press.

"Wow! Nice job on that display, Baldo! Just don't tell the boss. He'll make you do more."

Stalk of Newspaper Vendors

"Read all about it! O.J. still not guilty!"

"Gentlemen, I am happy to announce that as of today we are closing down our Washington news bureau and moving the entire operation to L.A."

Serious Competition: Thingymajigs vs Watchamacallits.

"You're fired! Read all about it!"

"Damnit, when you have bad news just give me the bad news."

"This year has been a horror movie. I'm sure the book version will be better."

War Journalism