Newsroom Maverick Pillows

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'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

'I sometimes wonder if these endless meetings accomplish anything.'

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

Targets.

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"He's not sleeping. He always dims his display while downloading data."

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

"Every now and then, I find myself in a room filled with people who are wrong."

"Since I am chairman, it behooves me to go first. 'What I Did Over My Summer Vacation,' by Wilson Rupert Hewes."

'Who wants the talking stick?'

BREAKING FAKE NEWS

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

"Who ordered the bravest tuna on all the seven seas, anointed with the spice of faraway lands, on wheat toast?"

"Anything goes today: I want this to be a free and open discussion of my entrenched positions."

Employee attending a breakfast meeting in his pyjamas.

"Jenkins, come in and pull up a bean bag."

'I say we try it.'

"The result of our last meeting are impressive: 3 completely solved crossword puzzles, 7 battleship matches, 5 shopping lists, and 26 really funny doodles."

Management Speak - reading between the lines: "This new role would involve some extra responsibilities." "He wants me too work twice as hard."

'Beasley, you're a good communicator, look down the table and make eye contact for me!'

"We have a REALLY high turnover rate here."

"Oops! Wrong plug."

"Looks like he's coming around to our way of thinking."

'A simple, 'profits are up', would have sufficed.'

"Your Easter bonuses are hidden throughout corporate headquarters."

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

'First, I'd like to welcome the presidents of the two internet networking companies that just merged with us.'