Newsroom Managers Gifts

News for Sale

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

King Solomon's Pollster.

BREAKING FAKE NEWS

As you can see, media coverage at this event is very heavy...

News Headline Reads - 'Man Bites Feral Media'.

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

"It's finally happened. This magazine has more subscription cards than pages!"

"Sir, what is your position on the issue of banana control?"

"And then I said, 'They're not Christians, they're Easter Worshippers!' Cause we can't say the 'C' word out. . ."

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

'If elected, I promise to do my darndest to get re-elected.'

Bert launches his plan to increase property values: Annoyance Free Zone - No politicians, media, pundits, or mimes beyond this point.

"On the record, I enthusiastically support a free and vibrant press. Off the record, I'd like to donkey-punch you in the sternum."

An expletive of editors

"I said 'Are you available for comment?' Sir Geoffey"

"You know our 'Never-Overwhelm-The-Reader' policy. Your story is irrelevant, trivial and stupid but not irrelevant, trivial and stupid enough."

Newsrooms Are Taking Diversity Seriously: Man or Woman, White or Black, You Can Be Any Kind of Rich Capitalist You Want

"George we don't have an opposing point of view!"

'And this is Paul, who writes our 'Voice of Sanity' column.'

"And now a special report from 'News 4' Science Editor, Dr. Frank Lovell, on how to remove your own gallbladder."

"I can only give you name rank and the number of my agent..."

TV scheduler's garbage in and garbage out baskets..

'We'll need a bigger studio- Rosie wants to interview Rush Limbaugh.'

'Well, freedom of the press would relieve the dungeon overcrowding.'

'...This is the Ten O'Clock Report, brought to you by the Eleven O'Clock Report....'

"Gentlemen, I am happy to announce that as of today we are closing down our Washington news bureau and moving the entire operation to L.A."

'We're here to talk to your son about his web site...'

The Gutter Press.

This red button is for EMERGENCIES...if anything terrible happens to a patient then press it and you'll have a media management team here in minutes.''

"And that's tonight's news. . . now for tonight's news rebuttal from Trump."

'We can call it a library, a media center or a resource room, but we are not going to call it an internet cafe.'

"Stop reading this stupid paper."

Epidemiological fence

"This is Ritz Rose, substituting for the vastly over rated Ed Yomp..."