News Studies Pillows

"They're not wasting time with verbs anymore."

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

"Welcome to the future"

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Squeezing the Free Press.

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

They're Not Just That Into It

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

Trump pardons

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

Press Freedom

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

Difference of Opinion

Meet the Enemy

Studies show foods work miracles!

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

"We won!"

CIA report

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'