News Networker Gifts

Business News.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Squeezing the Free Press.

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

Networking

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

WiFi Signals

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

Man Reading Laptop.

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

Newspaper suicide.

2020 Swiss barmy knife

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

BREAKING FAKE NEWS

Corporate Greed.

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

'Hey dude, just got the SMS of the Wild...'

'Mr. Smithdon's at his desk, but he's not really there....He's somewhere out there in cyberspace!'

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

'Mixed day on Wall Street. Economic indicators were up, but executive bonuses were down.'

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

E-waste - 'Well there's another hour gone on email.'

'Here's the name of my cosmetic brain surgeon. He make you look smarter.'

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

'War protestor': 'Oh no! Not this again...'