News Networker Gifts

Business News.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Squeezing the Free Press.

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

Networking

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

WiFi Signals

Bird Tweet.

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Man Reading Laptop.

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

Mark Zuckerberg

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

2020 Swiss barmy knife

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

Newspaper suicide.

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

'Mr. Smithdon's at his desk, but he's not really there....He's somewhere out there in cyberspace!'

'Hey dude, just got the SMS of the Wild...'

'Mixed day on Wall Street. Economic indicators were up, but executive bonuses were down.'

All-Purpose Obamatoon

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

Corporate Greed.

BREAKING FAKE NEWS

E-waste - 'Well there's another hour gone on email.'

'Here's the name of my cosmetic brain surgeon. He make you look smarter.'

'Well what do you know---opportunity no longer knocks, she Twitters'

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

"In a move sure to revolutionize the industry, Lincoln Middle School is using Halloween candy energy levels to offset costs in November, December and January."