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Stress while reading the news

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

UK border controls relaxed.

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Man stood by signpost to 'here' or 'there'.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Meet the Enemy

Man on Snowdon with GPS system - "I'd be lost without it."

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"Well what does the GPS say?"

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

I always play the GPS through the backseat speakers. That's were I'm used to receiving instructions.

Trump Destroying U.S. the Postal Service

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

Newspaper suicide.

Lost around a military base.

Capital Tours

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Idlib, Syria - The final stage

Reporter #6: television.

'Typical man - why can't he just ask for directions?'

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

Recalculating!