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Stress while reading the news

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

UK border controls relaxed.

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

Man stood by signpost to 'here' or 'there'.

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Meet the Enemy

Man on Snowdon with GPS system - "I'd be lost without it."

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

"Well what does the GPS say?"

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

I always play the GPS through the backseat speakers. That's were I'm used to receiving instructions.

Trump Destroying U.S. the Postal Service

Lost around a military base.

Newspaper suicide.

'Typical man - why can't he just ask for directions?'

Capital Tours

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Idlib, Syria - The final stage

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

Reporter #6: television.

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

Recalculating!

'I'm in the den, mom, reading the newspaper for my social studies class.'