News Dodgers T-Shirts

'I gained about two hours a day. I gave up the New York Times.'

"We could save money by turning the TV off every time they mention Boris."

Fear of news.

Mary had a little spam

'I won't be taking any more calls today. I threw my phone out the window.'

"We're bears you fool, we don't need agendas!"

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

"Arithmetic doesn't agree with me."

"Can you send me a text so I can use it as a ruse to get out of this conversation?"

"I've had custom reading glasses made that blot out the words 'brexit' and 'royal.'"

"If you don't want to know the result of the united game then look away now"

Personnel. The gap in my resume is when I got turned out on my back for six months.

'No need to put my details in darlin'... You're the girl for me!'

"If you wouldn't book hotels with such great amenities, I wouldn't miss so many seminars."

Double-glazing salesman's spiel sends household to sleep.

"This is definitely the last time for Chapter Seventeen!"

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

"Slammed the door in your face, huh? Guess she really meant that NO SOLICITORS sign!"

"I'm had a miserable day, so I'd appreciate it if neither of you mention politics, wildfires or COVID."

'That's it, Darlene -- conserve your energy for the final lap! Stay right in her draft!'

"How's your substitute history teacher, Baldo?"

"So I'm thinking...why bother with all the junk mail?"

"Must...not gaze into...his eye! For I may...never break free!"

Cone of Silence

"Yes, you've caught me at a bad time!!"

"I really should call my mother — I just don’t want to talk to her."

Other Walks of Shame

"We need to shelter him from all news about economic indicators!"

'I found I'm able to maintain my disposition by not watching any economic or employment news.'

'Maybe he doesn't want to know what's going on in the world.'

'It's not fair. You have classes and pep talks on selling and I have to resist all on my own.'

"So I take it you won't be going to the staff Christmas party!"

"Please go to voicemail...please go to voice...Oh Hi...so glad I caught you!"

'Gentlemen, this deal offers some spectacular opportunities for us to miss, and miss them we shall.'