News Critic Gifts

Funny how it's only the people I disagree with who are biased.

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

'This is the most humble day of my life!'

In the wake of the Duelfer report the White House vows to improve U.S. intelligence gathering.

"Seems to me the TV news just isn't as hard-hitting as it used to be!"

'Oddly enough, I feel offended...'

'Do I have to fetch the newspaper? -- Peter Hitchens always leaves a bad taste in my mouth!'

'Today the nation's highly reliable sources were replaced by 'sometimes reliable sources'.'

"The following emergency weather bulletin is brought to you by the folks at Gargantua Insurance Company. For a fast, friendly quote on coverage for your imminent natural disaster, call us, toll free..."

Violence in television

'I don't know about you, but I never trust the media.'

"To be perfectly frank, the preceding was a paid political bunch of lies."

Billy strip: too young to watch the news.

'I don't care what the media says; the economy is still bad. I run a one-man operation and I fired two people last week.'

"I hope that's fake news."

Pillory

'Maybe you should fix the TV stand.'

"I watched the news and it was all yelling and screaming and acting like children. If that's all it takes to be a grown-up, why are we wasting all our time in school?"

"'Report the facts' Do you have any idea what would happen to my ratings?"

'And now a look at tomorrow's front pages - the Telegraph leads with 'ultimate makeover guide', while the Mail has 'a fantastic new you'...'

'I'm going to watch the news. Do you know where my rose-colored glasses are?'

Jubilee Whitewash Sold Here!

"Now they've gone to far."

A family hides from the TV news.

"Well, you call them fairy tales, I call them fake news."

'Let's see... all the Republican candidates want to borrow trillions more form China to invade Iran. . . Except for Ron Paul, who DOESN'T want to, and is, therefore, a 'nut'.'

"Where are people going to get their misinformation?"

'Chief, it's Ben Gazi on the phone again. What do I tell him this time?'

Fake News, 50 cents.

"Sorginson, this speech is the most blatant pack of lies ever written! Let's go with it!"

"Legal action is useless. All our stories are complete rubbish!"

News Corruption

"George - we don't have an opposing point of view!"

"The preceding has been an editorial and the views of that crackpot do not necessarily reflect those of this station!"

"The era of 'Fake News' is finally over! From today we will only be reporting stories based on 'unsubstantiated rumours'."