News Consumer Gifts

'...And now it's time for today's celebrity hissy-fit....'

But is it organic?

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

Cellphone Islands

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

"I shop, therefore I am."

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

They get into debt so fast these days...

"Brat"

'15% of Americans don't have chairs in their living rooms, and of that 15%, 73% don't even realize it.'

A man watches TV while wearing a Marshall McLuhan sweatshirt.

"It makes me happy that you took time to read the newspaper today."

"Your mom's not protesting sex and violence on TV...she's taking a stand against those early Christmas ads..."

The economy doctor

"You doomscroll, I make coffee, and together we forge bravely into each new day."

'Read ALL about IT! In other less TRASHIER Newspapers!'

"Nothing like the History Channel to get you to appreciate these peaceful times we're enjoying."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

'So, what are the terms of use?'

The Lesser Pyramids

"Papers late again, Murphy?"

'A long-awaited government shake-up: A 'ditto-head' will replace a 'yes-man'...A 'croney' will replace an 'insider'...'

News - Panto stars to strike.

LIBERAL MEDIA POLLS, 'Do you think President Obama is doing a great job, a wonderful job, or an absolutely terrific job?'

Woman Feeds Her Husband Through the Morning Paper.

"This is Sally Whitgart on TV -- We now switch you to Bart Fribledale on the Internet...."

"I told you we should have got the smaller screen."

'How did you cope before 24-hour rolling gossip?'

World exclusive!

Heart vending machine.