News Consumer Gifts

'...And now it's time for today's celebrity hissy-fit....'

But is it organic?

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

Cellphone Islands

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

"I shop, therefore I am."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

They get into debt so fast these days...

'Are referees black with white stripes or white with black stripes?'

"Your mom's not protesting sex and violence on TV...she's taking a stand against those early Christmas ads..."

"Brat"

A man watches TV while wearing a Marshall McLuhan sweatshirt.

"It makes me happy that you took time to read the newspaper today."

'15% of Americans don't have chairs in their living rooms, and of that 15%, 73% don't even realize it.'

"Nothing like the History Channel to get you to appreciate these peaceful times we're enjoying."

"You doomscroll, I make coffee, and together we forge bravely into each new day."

The economy doctor

'Read ALL about IT! In other less TRASHIER Newspapers!'

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

'So, what are the terms of use?'

The Lesser Pyramids

"Papers late again, Murphy?"

'A long-awaited government shake-up: A 'ditto-head' will replace a 'yes-man'...A 'croney' will replace an 'insider'...'

News - Panto stars to strike.

"This is Sally Whitgart on TV -- We now switch you to Bart Fribledale on the Internet...."

Woman Feeds Her Husband Through the Morning Paper.

"I told you we should have got the smaller screen."

LIBERAL MEDIA POLLS, 'Do you think President Obama is doing a great job, a wonderful job, or an absolutely terrific job?'

Ignorance and Bliss

'How did you cope before 24-hour rolling gossip?'

World exclusive!

It's a movie about an English monarch who sets up drinks for his men at bedtime .. It's call "King Arthur and his rounds of the night table."